When it comes to traditions in dating, should the year dictate your approach?

During the 1950s men and women could pal around as friends, go skiing together, and there was "never any hanky panky". Nice thing about the 50s was that the boys always picked up the tab, whether they were dining out or swishing down the slopes at Mammoth Week-ends, folks back then always had a date; the man would call up the woman and say something like "Say, how about going out with me on Saturday night for a steak?" If this invitation was accepted, then the man paid for the steak too.

Okay, so the 50s are long gone and a lot of things have changed! It seems that men have gotten lazy in love thanks to the great inventions of the remote control, gable and satellite TV, laptops, IPods, video games and so on…

With all of these distractions, does the year we live in dictate the way a man courts a woman?

Recently, a man that I’m dating told me this is not the 70s (that is a long time ago for him since he is 25) we should be 50/50 in everything including diner, movies, and even meeting each other half way for the date. The response came after I refuse to meet him half way for a date.

Call me old fashioned, but I feel that a date should come with anticipation/excitement that can only be experienced when a savvy gentleman comes to your door holding flowers.

I mean really, meet him…how lazy is that?! What the hell happened to chivalry? It’s not dead; it’s stuck under a lazy man’s ass sitting on the couch watching television!!

Forgive my blunt reaction, but I don’t believe that courting a woman has anything to do with the changing of the times since romance itself is timeless. What roles men and women play in romance should not be debatable!! Hell, we debate each other everywhere else…let’s leave it out of the romance.

The argument is whether or not we should compromise our expectations in the beginning by forgoing traditional style based on the trends of the times. The paradox then lies somewhere between modern trends and traditional practices of courtship.

1950, 1970, or 2008…should the year we live in dictate the way we treat each other as friends/lovers/husband & wife? I say NO, the only difference should be the amount of effort placed forth. I think it should also depend on the strength of the roles that we play in each other’s lives for example; husband & wife relationships should merit the most effort.


I believe that properly courting a woman in the beginning will ensure a stronger bond in a future relationship…your lady will marvel in the fact that you’ve romanced her with such care. Nostalgia is great assurance in forming a strong relationship. Quite often it is the effect of dating a romantic man who lives by a gentleman’s code. A good man will provide lasting romantic gestures along with devotion in order to capture a woman’s heart. In fact, properly done it will procure the good stuff that stirs butterflies and giddiness in a woman!

It seems to me that our divorce rates are high because our values are low. Our gender roles have become skewed because we are placing less importance on the foundation of our relationships and more on what’s viewed as modern practices of keeping up with “the Joneses”. Sometimes I wish I could click my heels three times and go back to an era where romance was well and alive in the hearts of men (but being black I probably would’t enjoy it much in the 50s) a story left for another time! Because of our roles in business practices that place men and women on a vertigo imbalance both genders have become jaded. Unfortunately, this cynicism has spilled into our romantic lives.
Personally, I think when comes to dating there should be no barriers against traditional methods (the flowery stuff hasn't gotten old with women despite what men choose to believe!!). Men have gotten lazy (thanks to modern technology) thusly women have given up on the idea of a night in shiny armor coming to sweep them off their feet!! A true gentleman should want to treat his lady with valiant care and she in turn will fulfill his needs. It is a continued give and take…not take and take but it does start with a gentleman’s approach.

A woman can be as strong and forward thinking as any man but will leave her armor behind when dealing with HER MAN because she will remember that he is her knight. After all, men seek the same things as women, LOVE, RESPECT AND UNDERSTANDING!
When it comes to relationships I'm a traditional woman at heart. I guess growing up and watching how well my brothers treated their significant others, I expect no less for myself!! I agree that things should be 50/50 in terms of sharing the load, but only when two people are past the courting stage and well into a relationship.With such a high failure rate in relationships these days perhaps both men and women are reluctant to give too much of themselves because they want to safeguard themselves from pain. We are all seeking love and romance but with the changes in our views we have also forgotten that the mystery of lasting love lies in the courtship itself, to gain access to it we must let down our guards. We can still maintain the mystery by holding on to some secrets.